The Adventures of Three Hobbits
by Snivellus44
Summary: This is my first fanfic- it's a little story about Merry and Pippin getting into a bit of trouble with Farmer Maggot, and getting lost in the Old Forest.
1. The Mushroom Escapade

Disclaimer- Yeah, yeah, I don't own it...

Author's Note- This story was written as a joke between a few good friends and me based off a running argument about which hobbit was best. As you can see, I say Sam. However, all my jabs towards Merry and Pippin are just jokes. I really do like the little buggers. Oh, and this is full of inside jokes; I'll try to explain the main ones, but if you don't get something, that's probably why... so without further ado...

**Chapter #1- The Mushroom Escapade**

Once upon a time, there was a hobbit named Samwise Gamgee. Sam had just entered his tweens, and he was the envy of every young hobbit in the Shire due to the fact that he was hot, buff, studious, kind and perfect in every way.

Two of Sam's many, many friends were named Merry and Pippin. Now Merry and Pippin were in every way opposite to Sam. They were lazy, immature, rude, and ugly, but because Sam was such a nice guy, he tolerated them and hung out with them because no one else would. Besides, they were fun.

One day while Sam was busy learning the basics of Elvish from old Mr. Bilbo, Merry and Pippin decided to go for a smoke in Farmer Maggot's field. After a while of smoking the weed, Merry and Pippin began to get quite woozy, and (as was quite usual when they smoked a _little_ too much) they began to plan to steal something. Today it was Farmer maggot's mushrooms. Without Sam to keep them in line, Merry and Pippin soon headed off to the mushroom fields.

Merry and Pippin had just finished filling their sack with mushrooms, and they were quite sure that this time (unlike in their previous bouts with Maggot's crops) they were going to succeed. However, suddenly they heard a growl behind them. They turned around slowly to see Farmer Maggot standing behind his three dogs. "Sic 'em, boys!" Maggot commanded calmly. The two young hobbits turned and raced from the field with the snarling dogs close behind.

Merry and Pippin ran until they stumbled into the Old Forest. They stopped and listened closely. No dogs could be heard. As the hobbits regained their breath, Pippin said gaily, "Well, at least we got the mushrooms!"

"Yeah," Merry replied, "where are they?"

Pippin stared at him blankly. "Didn't _you_ pick them up?" he asked.

"Dude, I thought _you_ had them! Crap..." Merry's voice trailed off.

Suddenly they noticed that the sun was setting. They knew it wouldn't be safe to be in the Old Forest after dark, so after about ten minutes of trying to figure out which way to go, they finally started off... in the wrong direction. Little did they know that as he sun sank lower and lower in the sky they were heading deep into the heart of the Old Forest.

End of Chapter One...


	2. Sam to the Rescue

A/N: Hmm... no one reviewed my first chapter, but maybe they'll review this one. Anyway, Merry and Pippin's girlfriends used to be named after my two friends, as part of the joke...

**Chapter #2- Sam to the Rescue**

Sam sighed as he walked into his hobbit-hole and hung up his jacket. He had just finished tending his garden. Suddenly, he heard a loud knock on the door. As he opened it, he saw Diamond and Estella, Pippin's and Merry's girlfriends, standing there. They looked rather distraught, and they both began talking. "We had a double-date with Merry and Pippin," Estella began.

Diamond interrupted. "And they didn't show up."

"And do you know where they are, because we're getting worried," Estella finished.

Sam thought for a moment. "They must have been chased into the Old Forest by Farmer Maggot's dogs... again!" he told them as he pulled his coat back on and lit the lantern. "Don't worry!" Sam stepped outside. "I'll find them... again."

Sam rode his pony to the edge of the Old Forest. When he reached the woods, not knowing when he would be back out, he sent his pony back home and went into the forest with his lantern in one hand and his walking stick in the other. Although Sam periodically went into the Old Forest to rescue Merry and Pippin, he had never gone there after dark, and he did not like it one bit. The trees seemed to be alive and whispering to each other. He felt as if they were closing in around him. Sam shuddered.

He looked about carefully for any sign of his two friends. On the edge of an old path nearly overgrown with weeds, Sam saw a pipe. He went over and picked it up. It was Merry's. Sam shrugged, put the pipe in his mouth and lit it before heading down the trail. As he walked, he got the strange feeling that the trees were dictating where the path led, but what could he do about it? All of a sudden, he stepped in something wet. He peered down to see a pool of stagnant water around his feet, but his path led through it, so he continued. Suddenly a smooth wall of rock came into view. In the middle of the wall there was a huge stone door and on either side of the door there was a stone gargoyle with water pouring from its mouth. Sam remembered back to all the hobbit-lore he had learned, and realized he was at the door of the Mewlips.

END OF CHAPTER TWO

A/N: Mewlips are some creatures in a fairly obscure poem written by Tolkien. This chapter really isn't that funny. It's strange, isn't it, that in a story mocking Merry and Pippin, they become the only source of entertainment...


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